SofSW: The Departure (1/2)

Dream disappears like a wolf into the woods. I rise, switch off the alarm in my alarm clock just as it is about to go. I think it makes a little sound a minute or half a minute before but I’m not sure. On many a morning I’ve woken just before the alarm clock and the only other explanation I can come up with is that my biological clock is much more exact than I give it credit for. After all, usually I set the alarm in the evening and I know when it is supposed to go off. Maybe my subconscious wakes me up on its own. I guess it would be easy to test and set the alarm and listen for five minutes for any extra noises but I won’t do it. First of all, I have a feeling that the ambient noise level during the day will drown out little noises from the alarm clock. Secondly, I think that I’m more receptive to auditory input asleep than awake. It might be that even though the alarm clock did make an extra sound a minute or so before alarming, I probably wouldn’t hear it if I was paying it attention. And thirdly and by no means least, it is good to have some mysteries in life. It is after all a minor thing and a positive one for that matter to wake up at the right time without disturbing anybody else. It is a natural start for a day.

However, the nights I didn’t wake up before the alarm are hugely more numerous than the ones I did, so it might just be an indication that I’ve slept enough. The day ahead most definitely has an effect. Bad days, exciting days, scary days wake me up way too early. They seem to want to be nasty. Laying awake in bed, tossing and turning, trying not to think about the troubles of the following day and trying to fall back asleep is a guaranteed recipe for not falling back asleep and keep thinking about the troubles of the following day with a sleep-like stretched certainty and magnified evilness.

Good days, on the other hand like the one I’m having today, make you sleep soundly until it is time to rise. On dull and normal days, it is the alarm clock that wakes me usually in the middle of no dream. Good days - did I already mention that today is such a day? - start with an escaping dream. It is not necessarily a dream about escaping though. As the mind apparently can spin a year-long yarn in a few seconds with all its important goings-on in enough detail, it might well be that the dream I just had just started when the alarm clock made its alleged click. It then started to bring my mind back to the waking world and did it in the pleasant possible way with a fast-paced dream of happiness and joy. I no longer have any idea of its topic if it even had one, but the state of mind stays.

My state of mind fits my day. It is going to be a wonderful day. The sun hits my eyes as I open the curtains. I squint and head for the toilet. It is wonderful to feel pressure only on my bladder. I know I can relieve it soon enough. Physical pressure is often straightforward to relieve unlike mental. Today is a glorious day, there’s no pressure on me at all. In the kitchen, I fix myself breakfast. Eating a bowlful of cereals with milk and drinking a glass of multivitamin juice I read a comic to ease my mind into the real world. The breakfast is over before I know it and it is time brush my teeth. After a second visit to the toilet and a shower I’m ready to get dressed.

I have it all planned out, the clothes I’m going to wear today are waiting on the chair next to my bed. Black underpants, black socks, a black t-shirt with Mark Knopfler’s Shangri La album cover on it and black jeans are my traveling clothes on this fine day. I like to take it easy and although traveling is for some a luxury, I’ve done enough of it to dress casually and comfortably. I respect the other travelers and dress neatly but I’m not trying to impress anybody even if I am going to be moving through some very public places. I wonder if some people overdress because they like to show off or because they try to make others notice them? I decide what I wear based on my own comfort, I don’t let anybody else run my life. At least I do dress.

I have packed a little suitcase and it contains anything I going to need for a week. If I’m on the road any longer than that I’ll have to either buy new clothes (and a bigger suitcase) or wash some of them and re-wear them. The suitcase contains eight underpants, eight pairs of black or blackish socks, two pairs of sports socks, four black T-shirts with varying images, four blue shirts and grey trousers to wear on business days, a pair of black shoes, a toiletry bag with toothbrush and toothpaste, a mini-shampoo, a mini-shower gel, some cream for rashes, two band-aids, scissors for cutting my nails, a bottle of after shave, a deodorant stick (I never did get used to sprays), and a bottle of moisturizer. I have packed also the electric razor (I’ve never even tried shaving with a blade), a couple of books to read later, two pencils (3B and 4B), two graphite sticks (3B and 6B), a sharpener, an eraser and drawing paper, a charger for my mobile phone, a charger for my tiny music player which I’m already wearing, and an empty plastic bag for dirty laundry. I’m taking a small bag to carry as hand luggage. In it I have three books: a comic book, a scientific book and a novel. I also carry with me a notepad and a pen for making notes of anything interesting I see, hear or happen to think about. I carry my laptop computer in the bag too.

I go through the luggage mentally one more time, can’t think of anything missing and feel even better than before. Now there’s nothing stopping me, I am ready and eager to go.